Christmas - From an Esoteric Point of View

Around this time of year, one of the biggest questions we often ask ourselves - those of us who are of the Christian persuasion (or those of us who just celebrate it because that's what we've grown up with) - is, "what is the meaning of Christmas?" In capitalist America, it's easy to see why this is such a prevalent question: the meaning has been sapped out of Christmas entirely, so that when you think of it, all you can contemplate is, "what do I have to buy for people, and how much money is that going to cost me?" By emphasizing the material, have destroyed the integrity of a holiday all about redeeming the material through spiritualization. To understand Christmas from a contemplative and allegorical viewpoint, we must look at Mary first and foremost - no longer shunning her as Protestantism has taught us. The Mother of God is an archetype: she is us. Therefore, we must learn through her, as the holiday has a very specific message that we have forgotten.

First of all, what is Christ? Christ is not just a beautiful baby, He is not just holy, he is not just an honorable deity who deserves gifts, and therefore we must mimic this gift-giving ourselves. He is first and foremost the Word, the divine Logos of the Father. The Logos is that which has allowed for division and multiplicity, for the Father is unity, the infinite zero in which all things partake. But the Logos is the reflection of the Father, and being the number two, is capable of multiplication. It is the source of all the forms inherent in creation - by its utterance, things are defined, given shape, given purpose, etc. The Logos is also Mercury and Eros - this is crucial to understand. Eros is the principle that keeps the universe coherent, by drawing all things towards each other. If the Father is unity, it cannot conceptualize anything other than itself - the All. Therefore, change cannot occur, nothing can be learned or experienced without division. The Logos therefore provides for division and union simultaneously. Solve et Coagula - the two guiding principles of all universal action (division and synthesis). Therefore, the Word is deeply important, being the underlying structure of the universe.

The Word also redeems. It manifests itself in the form of the True Sun (a common Christian trope), which sheds light on reality, exposing matter for the falsity it is. It impregnates the soul and and inspires it to share in this vision, endowing it with virtue, harmony, truth, and purpose. In this sense, it is the highest self - the Holy Guardian Angel, the perfect complement to the idea of you - which instructs the soul on its path towards Wisdom (let us here remember that Mary is often depicted as seated on the sedes sapientiae, the throne of wisdom). Matter is capable of redemption in the first place because it is infused with the spirit, it is contained in the One, the Father, and is a manifestation of Him. Out of love - the desire for unity - the Logos descends into matter (the ultimate sacrifice, subjecting the purest essence to the shame of corruption and death - the Crucifixion) to redeem the fallen soul, so that it may reacquire knowledge of its divinity and oneness with God. These are the mysteries of the Incarnation and the Crucifixion in brief.

Therefore, Mary is the soul. She is the Psyche to Apuleius' Cupid. The humble maiden who represents the quiet purity of matter in its most subdued form. She is ego-less. When Gabriel tells her she will bear God, he states it will occur when the Holy Spirit overshadows her. She will be utterly enveloped by divinity, the sense of singularity and separateness will be eternally cracked, and there will be no repairing it. She submits to the will of God entirely, calling her self His handmaiden. This is why she is able to bear God within her - she abolishes her individuality and sacrifices it to the macrocosm. She is prepared to face the reality of universality. And because she bears Christ, she becomes the Queen of Heaven.

Therefore, Christmas is a time to listen to the will of God. It is not a time to feed the ego by buying meaningless things for people. It is a time to contemplate all the ways the self disobeys God endlessly, and to then be grateful for His copious mercy. No matter how many times we ignore him - which is the condition of sin, we must remember; nothing more - He is willing to forgive us. "So now all you people, bend your knees to the Father, that he may reach you his hand (Ergo nunc, omnes homines, genua vestra ad patrem vestrum flectite, ut vobis manum suam porrigat).

Let us also remember that Christmas occurs in the winter - the least fertile and darkest moment in the year. Agriculturally speaking, the Virgin is "plowed" and "sewn" in the Spring, thereby giving birth to the ultimate Light in the winter. Winter, with all its barrenness, its whiteness, its simplicity and purity, is the perfect time for the birth of the Word. The True Sun provides hope even in the darkest time, and represents the never ending fertility of the universe. The more sterile something is, the more fertile it is (this is a doctrine expounded in several modes in Crowley's essay on Atu 0 - The Fool). This is why the Christmas tree is such a powerful symbol! The evergreen remains green year round, as does God's paradisiacal universe, because it is nourished by the True Sun. The Christmas tree is therefore a symbol of Christ. He is the ultimate fertility; the Sun being phallic and related to the plow (also refer to The Fool), the Virgin being a form of Virgo - the supple topsoil that can receive the seed. Let us remember that Virgo is ruled doubly by Mercury - the Logos.

So Christmas must be a time of personal reflection. We must reevaluate who we are - what makes us us - so that we can work to improve ourselves. We should all strive to be like the Virgin, and to be handmaids of the Lord. So next time you feel pressured by capitalist society, think about the holiday in terms of allegory, and stay strong. Gifts are entirely secondary - love in its highest sense is primary.

Happy Holidays!

-Nick

Katy Perry's "Firework" and the New Aeon

Hey! It's been a month! Only because with school I've been mildly crazed. At least in the meantime the world of popular music has delivered us with something to talk about!

I will begin just by saying I absolutely love Katy Perry's new song. By love, I mean I can listen to it on repeat for a day and will want to dance wildly to it throughout the whole process. As it popped up on the radio today though, I couldn't help thinking about it a little more than usual, especially in terms of our present culture (four-hour drives will do that to you). I would like to discuss some of these thoughts with you all and look at the song through the lens of Crowley's explanation of the New Aeon (are you surprised?). The Book of the Law informs us that the current Aeon is all about the conquering child, and will be a period marked by innocence, violence, force, sexual liberality, and heightened individuality.

Textually, the song reflects many of these themes. In it, Perry extolls the virtues of individuality and the value of showing that off to everyone. When life leaves you feeling empty and useless, you have to remember that "there's a spark in you, you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine." Similarly, "it's always been inside of you." This could quite easily be equated with Crowley's concept of Hadit within all of us - the concealed and burning source of individual perspective, the main source of impetus for all action.

Secondly, the metaphors employed by the writer are utterly juvenile. I'm sorry, but the opening line, "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag" is just ridiculous. The comparison between the fireworks and the brightness of the moon-moon-moon is equally simplistic. It really is as if a five-year-old came up with the concepts for this song. However, a firework could be seen as a similar analogy to "Every man and woman is a star." It also expresses the explosively creative divine force present within the self as represented by the point, Hadit. Regardless, the child-like quality of the text with all its cliché statements ("You're original, cannot be replaced," "After a hurricane comes a rainbow.") and lack of profundity is pretty obvious.

Now, also obviously, the text reflects nothing sexual. For that, we must turn to the music itself. Has anyone noticed that popular music lately is ALL dance-based? I haven't heard so many disco beats since... well, ever, at least in my life time. Listening to common music today reminds me of listening to techno from the 90's sometimes, back when that stuff was decidedly not mainstream. Everything has gone electronic, and is based on steady beats you can drink and dance to. And of course, these practices are almost synonymous with youth sexuality in this country. The driving, easy-to-dance-to beat of Firework is contagious. There is a direct correlation between this kind of beat and attention to the body.

The driving beat in conjunction with Perry's vocal style could be considered an expression of that bit about forcefulness. Perry belts that chorus with abandon - to the point where it almost sounds painful (at least to the trained singer). Perhaps it is also amusing to contemplate the fact that Perry is, in the first place, a woman, and we must remember the quote, "let the woman be girt with a sword before me." Women are to take on a more militant posture in this Aeon, whether Crowley thought they were subservient to men or not. (Which he unfortunately did.) Also, the dissonances in the vocal harmonies in the last chorus are intriguing. They seem to speak to the discord of the New Aeon (5 of Wands, anyone?). Even harmony in the modern era has been radically redefined. Dissonance is used to a shocking degree (not that it's a bad thing, it's just unprecedented) to great effect. Firework is no exception.

I suppose you could read this and think, wow, that's the most absurd way of looking at a song I've ever heard. But in my defense, this is a highly medieval way of looking at the world, and this blog, after all, is meant to be medieval. So yes. What do you guys think? Could this be an anthem of the New Aeon? Is there another song you think also would be appropriate for this category? Leave a comment!

The Dreaded 10 of Swords

What makes the 10 of Swords one of the most dreaded cards in the pack? Waite includes "pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation" in his list of divinatory meanings; Crowley writes that it is "reason divorced from reality." For him, it represents the "damping down of the Creative impulse, weakness, corruption, or mirage affecting that principle itself."

But what makes the sun ruling Gemini so disastrous? To understand, we must remind ourselves that 10's are housed in the material, tangible world. As the swords are all about logic, abstract understanding, and theory, it makes sense that they would have little positive capability in this environment. Furthermore, we must equate the sun with the truest, highest sense of self, as well as the redeeming God of creation - the principle which in Tiphareth conjoins physical man to the highest godhead in Kether, and which is a manifested reflection of that godhead. Let us also note that Gemini is a symbol of ultimate division, of two halves constantly struggling against each other to become whole. Gemini's often have "split-personalities," and can change their moods on a dime.

So now we can see the 10 of swords as representing the divine solar principle being refracted by the mercurial principle inherent in Gemini into multiple

parts. The princess of Malkuth (you and I) is unable to perceive herself as one with godhead because she has limited herself by self-imposed mental road blocks. Rather than understanding the freedom of her true self, she has confined her options in order to conform to the incorrect whims of others, and has therefore lost sense of her connection with the solar God through her very identity. Thus, the card represents the breakdown of self, the division of godhead, ultimate isolation as promised by the 3 of Swords. This is the source of suffering - the progeny of Binah/Sophia's great experiment is sadness, complete manifested separation. The card reminds us that the more we think our ways into boxes, the more closed-off we feel, and this is the antithesis to the religious experience as the mystic understands it. The colliding of the sense of "self" with another being is at the heart of the mystical experience, and in order to achieve it, we must shed our mundane, unnecessary, and repetitive thinking, and embrace the possibilities of selfhood as liberally as possible. It also neatly explains Aleister's obsession with destroying Victorianism.

An Apology of Sorts

So recently I have been tremendously humbled by information that I really should have known before, but simply was ignorant of. As you may have read, I wrote a post earlier this month defending Aleister Crowley on the grounds that people were misunderstanding his interpretation of the word "will." I would essentially like to rescind that defense, as, after reading more about him in a lovely book on the history of sex magic by Hugh B. Urban, I have found that Mr. Crowley was in fact culpable of intense hedonism. Now, I had already known about his sexual antics and drug use, but I was unaware that he filed these practices under the heading of "do what thou wilt." Needless to say, I am heartily disappointed. As a side note, the ego for Crowley is based on the Freudian concept, which in turn is based on the sexual identity. Therefore, by completely destroying the conventional sexual self, one can supposedly liberate the ego from its restrictions - this would explain why the eating of feces in the heat of sexual passion if one is motivated to do so is not necessarily a bad thing... At least according to Crowley. I'm not sure how I feel about that, frankly. I believe that there is something to that that could be considered relevant, however, at the same time, much of these believes of his were invented to feed his own growing drug addictions and personal licentiousness.

With that being said, I feel it is necessary for me to redefine law contained in The Book of the Law for myself as such: submit to the virtues of the highest-self, and commit to fulfilling this will with a sense of courage and purpose. Take it upon yourself to interpret the Law as works best for you as an individual, but do not take it upon yourself to blaspheme the Law by appropriating it to fit the cravings of your lowest-self. To do this seems utterly backwards to me, seeing as hermeticism arises from a tradition focused intently on the redemption of the lower-self through the glory of the highest-self.

Ultimately, perhaps I can't shake off my upbringing as a Christian. Maybe part of me just really wants to hold on to those traditions that I appreciate so much in medieval culture. However, I still respect Crowley for his sophisticated and witty writings, as well as his penchant for testing the boundlessness of God. I respect that he is one of the few Qabbalists to stand by the fact that if God has created everything and is truly omnipotent, then God must be equally "evil." Crowley tried very hard to prove that the darker aspect of life, what we term "evil" because we are afraid of it for whatever reason, is not necessarily evil in the eye of God. God transcends the limitations of "good" and "evil," and does not consist wholly of one or the other. It would be naive to assume that It does.

Anywho, this is just some further food for thought. This also does not mean that I will stop using the Thoth Tarot, nor will I stop contemplating what Thelema could mean for people, being a highly individualistic belief system. But I will admit that I have lost some faith in one of my main esoteric teachers and influences. This is what we must do as contemplative beings though; take piecemeal what we admire in one person's cosmology and forge to it our own, or the thoughts of others, until we have a vast network of concepts that is equally independent of the influence of others and is entirely unique unto ourselves. To be sure, each man is a master of his own temple - that's one Crowley quote that I'll keep under my belt.

Cybele and the Queen of Wands

So recently I had to read about the cult of Cybele for one of my religion classes, and I was so intrigued by the description of her in our text book. In her book Religions of the Hellenistic Roman Age, Antonia Tripolitis writes that "In the earliest extant representations dating from ca. 6000 B.C.E., she is seated on a rocky throne, a woman of immense proportions. On either side of her throne stands a leopard, and on each leopard's head she rests a heavy hand protectively and triumphantly." This is quite clearly the same description of the Queen of Wands from Crowley's Thoth Tarot.

The connection is intriguing, as Cybele is a goddess associated with domination and ecstasy, and is revered with wild dancing and loud music. She is also incredibly magnetic and jealous, as her beauty alone caused her consort Attis to castrate himself out of awe. This would explain the Queen of Wands' swooning facial expression, as well as her Bacchic staff symbolizing the mysteries of bliss attributed to that god, and her hand placed on top of the leopard. Furthermore, Cybele was known as "the mother of the gods," and was associated with Chronos's wife Rhea. This matches perfectly with Crowley's Liber 777, in which he too equates Cybele to Rhea and places them in the sephira of Binah, as Binah is also the Great Mother.

This begs the question then: what are the attributions of the other queens in the Thoth deck? I have a guess that the Queen of Disks is a form of Juno, and that the Queen of Swords is Kali (which would explain the random sarong she's wearing), but I can't seem to nab the Queen of Cups. Could she be another iteration of Isis? Her lotus resting upon the ibis crane because she was the mother of all invention in the Hellenistic period? Perhaps.

If anyone knows of a source that explains this, either in Crowley or in Israel Regardie (these would be the first authors I would check), please let me know! I'd love to know if anyone has noticed this before, and if this kind of logic is useable for the entire court. Some of the Princesses are relatively easy to decipher, but the Princes are pretty difficult to pin down, perhaps for a reason.

The Misunderstanding of Thelema

In 1904, Aleister Crowley produced one of the most profound and bizarre books ever written - The Book of the Law. Some see it as a masterpiece, others see it as absurd, even obscene. The heart of this Law is this: "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law," and, "love is the law, love under will." Any Thelemite will know these phrases by heart, as they are repeated endlessly throughout Crowleyan literature. But what do they mean? What mainly frustrates me is this ignorant, mainly Christian, fear of the first phrase, as many read it as a legitimization of hedonism. To make this assumption is to completely disregard the rest of the entire Book of the Law, and to essentially obfuscate all the actual usefulness of Thelema. This is backwards thinking, as well as absolutely foolish. I am not a Thelemite, nor do I adhere to all of their beliefs, but I do understand where our man Aleister was coming from, and I am equally aware that he was not a total lunatic. Crowley's writings exhibit some of the most profound genius and inspiring commentary I have ever read, and I believe it is about time we dismantle this bogus myth that Crowley was a huge raving Satanist.

To understand "Do what thou wilt," one must first understand what will actually is. How can one effectively condemn a practice without understanding the semantics of its literary origin? Will is the most sublimely individual divine purpose intended for each being, each "aggregate of experience," which are gods in and of themselves. You are a Buddha/Christ/god, but you simply don't know it yet. You are unaware of your infinite potential because you are so entranced by the world around you. You accept living at face value, and you do not accept the infinity of Godhead. These are the conditions of true sin - the denial of the radiant godliness within you. This connection to macrocosmic godhead is what Kabbalists term the Holy Guardian Angel (HGA). Knowledge and Conversation with this essence/being is essential to understanding one's true will and nature. Everything we do in the name of our foolishly sacred egos is flawed. You are also connected to everything else, and when you make decisions that revolt against the flow of the macrocosm, the macrocosm will shut down on you, and quickly rectify your revolt. This is the law of karma, the God of revenge portrayed by Zeus and the LORD of the Israelites. Becoming aware of your place in the flow of the macrocosm is crucial to becoming an enlightened, considerate, and effective being, as knowledge of this allows you to shut your individuality up for 5 seconds in order to perceive everything else as a part of you. Why would you wish to do harm to that which you see yourself as being one with? At least this is the old Christian concept. In Thelema, we have a slightly different opinion, one that describes God as very impartial to human desires, and simply wanting to experiment with its own infinite possibility as the Logos of All (Pan; Pamphage, Pangenetor). This does open up the potentially distressing door that suggests God has created evil, and actually is evil, yet, if we believe that God has created everything, then we must be mature enough to then draw the conclusion that God has also created evil out of its infinite, impossible to understand, love of ALL.

Therefore, to "do what thou wilt," is to submit to the true will of God. It is Islam. It is the monastic asceticism of the Christians. To call it "Satanism," simply because Crowley was a sex fiend and a drug addict is absolutely stupid. St. Augustine was a sex fiend too; Hildegard von Bingen may have been an epileptic; and Julian of Norwich was so obsessed with the blood of Christ, she wanted to experience the passion for herself. But are these people considered crazy? Of course they are, to some extent. But does that throw into question the validity of their cosmologies? Religion is not logic. Religion as the expression of an individual's connection to the All has existed far longer than science, in fact, it is one of the core aspects of human experience, and yet, now because the idol science has emerged triumphant from the so-called "darkness" of the Middle Ages, we all lay prostrate to it with our faces planted in the ground, as opposed to looking at the sun. Human reason is a mere offshoot from a Godhead that has no limits to what it can conceive of. What hubris and vanity the human race flaunts when it parades its harlot Science in the face of an incredibly indifferent God! I lament with Jeremiah when he wails, "Jerusalem, Convertere ad Dominum Deum tuum!" We have forgotten the face of our gods-as-one-God, and in doing so, we have turned our back upon the true human tradition. If conservative Christians want to argue for the merits of tradition, surely they should revisit the ancient traditions that begat "Christianity" in the first place, which had come from even older pagan traditions. All of these faiths are synonymous. Christianity is nothing new: God-in-man-the-redeemer sacrifices himself to save the maiden trapped in Hell and brings her to the throne of the stars. This is the human mythological doctrine in short, and "do what thou wilt" is simply a part of it. You must submit to God in order to be saved by God. This is also supposedly in the Christian theology, though they would prefer to call the entire Bible the Word of God and then selectively partition this Word as the see fit. Need to preserve slavery? Go to the Bible. Don't want gay marriage? Go to the Bible. Don't want women to say what's on their mind? Go to the Bible. But shall we also stone these women when they have affairs and make mistakes? Shall we also have our eyes gouged out because we've looked at someone we find attractive and lusted after them, even though we are not married to that person?

To conclude, religious law is riddled with social constructs imposed for the sake of maintaining order. Yet, for Crowley, none of these are necessary if we all simply listen to the Divine Law stemming from Godhead, which descends upon our deaf ears like the flames of the Holy Spirit. This is Will. Thelema is hedonistic in its doctrines promoting the enjoyment of life's abundance, which God chose to make. Love it for its idea, and experience the lust inherent in physical life, but condemn it as an empty shell, and instead listen to the siren song of inspiration that crafted the shells in the first place. "Do what thou wilt," therefore, is not hedonistic, nor is it Satanic. Crowley believed in God, he simply reconfigured it to be something different that it is capable of being. The Goddess is both the Queen of Heaven, the Whore of Babylon, the Earth Mother, Mary, Isis, Nepthys, Nuit, Hathor, etc. She is ALL of these things because she is the highest source of femininity, and none of these are better than the other, for they all love their creations equally, and do not differentiate between them.

Celtic Cross: A Macrocosmic Approach

Being perhaps the most popular Tarot spread of this century, I thought I would write a piece about it!

The Celtic Cross' mass popularity comes from Arthur Edward Waite's popularity (1857-1942), which began to blossom when he published The Pictorial Key to the Tarot in collaboration with the artistic talents of Pamela Coleman Smith, their resulting deck of course being perhaps the

most influential deck of our time (look at any American tarot deck, and there is a 97% chance it is based on Waite and Smith's designs). The spread was originally developed by the Golden Dawn, which Waite was a member of, and was seen as a kind of abridged version of some of their other techniques (namely the lengthy Opening of the Key spread). This being said, the spread is notably concise, easy to dissect, and useful for just about any kind of question; this clearly accounts for its popularity.

The spread is incredibly malleable, and each position can be custom-fitted to any reader's preferences. The same principle applies to the order in which the cards are placed. Keep this in mind as you work with this spread: it truly is whatever you make it to be. (Honestly, this applies to any spread. It's best not to be dogmatic with spreads.) My only personal complaint with the spread is that it is a positional spread, meaning that the meaning given to each card is affected by the card's position in the spread. This is great for beginning readers, but my

personal belief is that this does not adequately reflect how the universe tends to function; any system is far too complex to partition into isolated boxes, the universe is certainly no exception. Therefore, this post is meant to give you some general tips on how to read Celtic Cross in a more holistic way that treats the cards as intertwined as opposed to isolated countries. After all, as the "venerable" Aleister Crowley writes in The Book of Thoth, "Each card is, in a sense, a living being; and its relations with its neighbours are what one might call diplomatic." (47-48)

To demonstrate each technique, I'm going to use an example reading for an imaginary querent. (This is a good technique for general practice. When reading for yourself no longer becomes helpful or even entertaining, you can always "program" the reading to be for someone who doesn't even exist!) I'll give you a brief

description of my positions (which are pretty traditional) as well as the order in which I place them.

1.) The overall situation.

2.) Primary obstacles or second detail regarding the situation.

3.) Root of the problem. Source of conflict.

4.) Past. What is leaving the querent.

5.) Crown. What the querent is aware of on an intuitive level about the situation.

6.) Upcoming event. Immediate future.

7.) How the querent views themselves in the situation.

8.) Environmental factors. How others see the querent.

9.) Hopes and fears. What the querent expects the outcome to be.

10.) Overall conclusion. Final result that can be known at this point in time.

Ok, so here we go!

Elements: This is a big one for me. I LOVE looking at the relationships created elementally, and honestly, this is the main basis of how I read. Patterns are everything when it comes to reading intuitively, and elements are a simple way to begin noticing patterns. In this example, we can see that the spread is dominated by a strong axis of air cards in the middle as well as an axis of earth that opposes it on the right. This tells us that the air cards are all connected in some way (this can be very subtle sometimes, and may take some gentle prying into the psyche of the querent in order to bring this connection to light), and that this similarly applies to the earth cards. There is one lone water card in the past and one singular fire card showing how the querent feels about themselves. I tend to look at singular elements like these as little signals showing that these are important to the situation, as they represent contrast within the situation. They demonstrate the events that are not well integrated into the situation for the querent, and can show where there is difficulty. Knowing this helps later when you're pressed to give advice.

Here is some general information about elements:

Fire is generally about the querent's energy source. Where are they digging deep, so to speak? Where are they directing their passion? In what form does this manifest?

Water deals with the emotions and the subconscious, dreams and desires. How does the querent feel about a situation? Are they feeling anything at all, or are they too preoccupied? Is the querent being deluded by their emotions and desires?

Air is the element of division, as it involves the intellect and communication (human intellect of course is mainly about categorization of things into separate entities - "thereby commeth hurt"). Therefore, the element tends to have a nasty "problem child" kind of feel to it. It is the element of conflict, anxiety, and entrapment, but is also the element of victory, focus, and inspiration. Where is the querent focused or not? Where are they feeling psychologically burdened? How are they partitioning their reality?

And lastly, earth is the element of stability (but remember that change is stability), material things, and works. It is solid, heavy, dense, and lacks all the abstraction found in the swords suit. Practical sometimes to a fault, earth can be stubborn and dull, but also highly motivated, reliable, and supporting. Does the situation leave the querent feeling grounded? How is the situation affecting them economically? Are they thinking too plainly or too practically, or do they need more simplicity and pragmatism in their situation?

With this in mind, we can see that the querent of our example reading is primarily highly focused on something, and is perhaps under a lot of pressure (large quantity of air). This is most likely connected to their financial situation, as we see an almost equal preponderance of

earth cards. There is some kind of opportunity for a relationship with someone in the recent past for the querent (Ace of Cups), but we can see that it does not develop as there are no other water cards present. The fire card in position 7 is honestly synonymous with the rest of the air cards (in fact, the 8 of Wands is Mercury ruling Sagittarius, Mercury being an airy planet), but we can see that it may be a source of conflict for the querent, being the only fire card in the spread. Note that the two "lone" cards, the Ace of Cups and the 8 of Wands, oppose each other elementally. Clearly these are two situations relatively exterior to the querent's line of thinking that oppose each other and thus bear little fruit when in conflict.

Pictorial Relationships: This can be divided into two categories: symbolic pictorial connections, and literal pattern connections. The latter is a very interesting one for Celtic Cross, but every now and then, you see it come into play. You just have to know how to look. In our example, it's quite obviously present in the form of the two elemental axes. We see that the poor Ace of Cups really has no chance, as it is literally standing up to a wall of air cards. I found it interesting that this meaning was even echoed in the 6th position in the form

of the 2 of Swords: impasse. The androgynous-looking woman has her back turned to the ocean and the moon, symbols of the emotions, and instead fully ignores them, even going to the extent of blindfolding herself. The querent is clearly not going to open themselves up to this new relationship opportunity, and is going to focus on something completely different, mainly their economic aspirations, represented by the pillar of pentacles on the right that seem to be reaching up/aspiring to a conclusion. I worry though that they will be lying to themselves in position 6 about how they feel. I think it's fairly obvious that the querent needs to pay more attention to their heart, since that may be part of what's causing the stress indicated by the number of air cards present. This message can be seen in the Star, which represents the overall situation. The querent is faced with opportunities that they do not usually have, and rather than being thankful, the querent seems to be squandering them!

Notice how the Star is holding two "cups" of sorts, similar to the Ace of Cups. Therefore, we can say that the querent is again choosing to focus on the pool of their thoughts and is perhaps foolishly dumping out the relationship opportunity onto the earth behind him. He sees the relationship as something exterior to where he needs to focus, and therefore wants no part of it. However, the 3 of Swords in position two tells us that there is in fact some emotional baggage affecting his decision-making. One gets the sense that he doesn't believe this relationship to have any hope (another meaning connected to the star) because his previous relationships have left him alone and damaged. This then begs the question, however: is he throwing himself into his work so vehemently (Knight of Swords) because he's trying to distract himself from this baggage? (Remember that the 3 of Swords is connected to the Knight elementally) Or do his relationships not work because he's a workaholic? This is something to discuss with the querent.

One more observation: there is a horizontal line of cards that all have bodies of water on them. In the Ace of Cups, we have a lake it seems; in The Star, we have a pool (the end of which we can't see, probably reflecting the meaning of this card as infinite possibility); and in the 2 of Swords, we have the sea, or rather maybe an inlet, as there is land in the background not too far away; in the 2 of Pentacles we see an open sea in a state of agitation. We can therefore see that chronologically speaking, the querent's emotional life will remain hemmed-in, ultimately by their economic aspirations (distant land in the 2 of Swords being related to earth). The 2 of Pentacles being in position 8, we can thus conclude that others see the querent as having once been overwhelmed by their emotional life (again, we see this in the past, as his

back is once again to the water). It seems that perhaps once they allowed themselves more freedom with their heart, and perhaps this caused distressing turbulence for them that they are now still juggling - hence the stance of the man and his pentacles. Knowing this, we can finally say something about the Ace of Swords in position 3, and simultaneously answer our above question for the querent: the querent sees his newfound focus on his aspirations as a kind of recovery process - a victory over his troubled past (even echoed in the Ace of Swords' imagery: a hand emerging from dark clouds over a barren terrain). Thus, our concern is more with the extent to which the querent turns to his work as a coping mechanism. He can't go through the rest of his life blindfolded to his emotions!

Gender/Age: This is another way of seeing relationships between the many people represented in the various cards of the Tarot. As much as I dislike social constructs of the gender "binary," it is a useful way to categorize allegorically. Kabbalistically or allegorically, masculine cards tend to represent active forces (striving, energizing, originating), whereas feminine cards can represent passive forces (receiving, nurturing, waiting). In this spread, all the cards can be seen as masculine, as the 2 of Swords frankly looks ambiguous to me. The androgynous nature of the 2 echoes its divinatory meaning, as the querent will be unable to commit fully to his feminine emotional side, even though it will still factor into his thinking. In other words, we see that he will turn his back to his usually receptive emotions and will instead devote himself to the action and focus on work represented by the Knight of Swords.

The King of Pentacles is another obviously masculine card, and being in position number 9, we can see that the querent hopes to become more masterful in his craft, whatever that may be. Right now, he is more connected to the Knight of Swords, but he believes that if he continues to devote the amount of energy he is to his career (8 of wands), he will become more mature and able-bodied in his field. (We get this from the fact that the King is "older" than the Knight, and is related to skill in business).

Number: The numbers of the cards themselves create subtle relationships in the same way that Kabbalistic numerology, Gematria, highlights underlying currents of connectivity between words. In our example, notice how the highest ranking minor card is the 8 of Wands. Everything else is quite low, aces or twos and one three, representing beginnings of things, or, in this case, the querent's immobility. We have the Ace of Cups in the past showing freshness in the querent's emotional life, the Ace of Swords and the Star representing new clarity in the querent's goals and ambitions dominating the present, and only the 2 of Swords in the immediate future. Thus, the querent is not going to let this situation take off in the least. He will perhaps ruminate over it for awhile, but nothing more. On the other hand, the earth cards show more progress. The 2 of Pentacles progresses to the King of Pentacles, and culminates in The World. We are then able to reaffirm the querent's greater interest in work and economics, and can begin to pinpoint The World as having to do with this aspect of the querent's life.

Court Card Relationships: Besides the above-mentioned relationship between the Knight of Swords and the King of Pentacles, there are no other court card relationships in this spread. What I mean by this is a familial affinity. For instance, The Queen of Cups in a reading alongside the Page of Cups can perhaps be seen as nurturing the latter (this of course depends on context). Either way, one can either see them as connected by being aspects of the same person, or by being related through affiliation. Usually their age and gender will help determine this. (Remember that Kabbalistically, the Pages are meant to be female.)

Types: In general, it is wise to look at a spread from its different types of cards. Court cards should represent people in one way or another; minors should represent small microcosmic life events within the control of the querent; and majors should be seen as overarching problems or events that are either too large for the querent to manipulate alone, or which represent the main themes of the reading. Therefore, we can see that The Star is a life lesson the querent needs to address right now. Where are they headed? Where are their hopes? How are they limiting their viewpoint?

The final card, The World, seems to be very positive, however. The labor done by the querent will blossom and will culminate, bringing him some kind of advancement. Perhaps a promotion? A new confidence? However, it also strikes me that the woman dancing in The World is in a posture adverse to the one represented by the 2 of Swords. In this case, I would say that this is a very positive development, that hopefully points to the querent being able to liberate themselves from their self-restricting demons. They probably will miss entirely the opportunity presented by the Ace of Cups, but this does not mean they will close themselves off entirely from their social life. Perhaps the success their material efforts will garner them will also reinvigorate their confidence in their ability, and they will be able to reincorporate more strongly the archetype of The Star as an icon of hope and optimism.

I know that this was long, but I hope these techniques and examples have been helpful for you. There are so many other ways of noticing patterns between cards - these are only my personal methods. By all means, invent your own! Experience is the greatest teacher when it comes to the Tarot, and I encourage you to investigate your personal methods of seeing the cards as well. Doing so will truly liberate your reading style, and will free your obligation to LWB's (little white books) and your dependence upon others' interpretations. Good luck, and enjoy yourselves!

Why Searching for God is Important

Lately, I have been confronted by several people who have grown skeptical of God and the act of searching for It. They've asked me things like, "but what is spirituality?" and, "what is religion?" or said things such as, "I've already spent a great deal of time looking for Him and I couldn't find Him, so it seems pretty pointless." This all distresses me intensely as I look at these people and wonder, how can you not believe in God? I'm not talking about the demiurgic god of the Old Testament or Greek mythology - the kind that will interfere with your life for seemingly little reason; rather, I'm talking simply about God the Universe, the "pantacle of the whole," so to speak.

Firstly, look around you. For once, don't take it for granted; I want you to truly recognize what you're looking at It doesn't matter what it is because that's the secret - it is. As God is the great "I am," so is existence.

Things exist.

From absolutely nothing there has been made, for whatever reason, by whatever methods, something. How does that not truly stagger your mind? And even if it was not fashioned by God's ideal hands, is it not useful to consider oneself blessed to be a part of this creation? You exist. You are here at this moment with the ability to contemplate and comprehend these words, and for once, I'm asking you to really question the import of that, for that is truly miraculous. Existence alone is a deity deserving of praise since we are lucky enough to be a part of existence's vast body. So why is it then foolish to aimlessly search for that which is the source of it all? Should we not be in awe of that which was the first speck? The first thought? The first will? Do you love your home? Your family? Your own self? Do you love anything at all?

These all must have come from somewhere, and all these things have existed in some form (albeit perhaps not fused in their current form) since the creation of the universe. Form is transitory, but existence is endless. Therefore, should we not recognize the rapture of that one moment when everything we know and will ever love was suddenly exploded into existence? Should we not stand speechless over that? Are we jaded enough by our "isolation" from God that we cannot appreciate all that it, at least as an allegorical being has done?

Let us go further. All this stuff we call existence must be considered one thing. It must be seen as one constantly changing system of simply nothing and things, as all things are made of the same components: combinations of atoms in various forms and negative space. Any chemical system must function as a whole, for instance, if I have a swimming pool and I drop 3 drops of food coloring in, the molecules of those three infinitesimal drops will eventually be dispersed relatively evenly throughout the pool, provided the pool is at equilibrium and there is nothing living in the pool that can consume the food coloring. We all know that when you stir a mixture, it tends to blend together much faster than if you were to simply let it sit placidly.

The same principle applies to the ever-churning Universe. Nothing in the Universe can continue to exist without changing - this is why things die. Death is necessary to continue creation - chemists and physicists will confirm this principle. So therefore, if we are constantly releasing "drops of food coloring" in the form of energy expended through every thought and action both conscious and unconscious (energy, which can never be contained within a system, it too simply transforms), can we not see that those thoughts and actions will have ramifications throughout the entire universe, even if they are infinitesimal in regards to the entire universe? Even if they take eons to reach the corners of the universe? Believe me, the universe has the time.

As much as the universe loves chaos, it also loves equilibrium - that swimming pool is always going to strive for equilibrium, and if we pretend that swimming pool is a perfectly enclosed system, then the amount of "stuff" and energy within the pool will never change but

will simply transform/transfer no matter how much chaos is present within the pool system. Therefore, that entire system must simultaneously accommodate the workings of each individual atom within itself, and here we can understand Crowley's lovely statement "the dropping of a pin excites a reaction within every star." (This includes us, as "Every man and woman is a star.") The point of this enormous explanation and diatribe on basic laws of science is this: this oneness of life is wonderfully intricate, well-ordered, self-sufficient, and (dare I say) aware. It knows how to function. Electrons know when they're being observed and change their properties to suit this observation. Can we not say that electrons demonstrate a kind of wacky omniscience? They actually change their properties from either wave or particle based on observation. Guess what: we're made of electrons. So therefore, anything physical that we see as "constant" is a lie, as it is technically changing its makeup perpetually. The ancient Hindu concept of reality being false and enlightenment bestowing true vision upon the adept is actually true. Guess what again: electrons can never be located within a given time within an atom; their location can only be guessed based on laws of probability. In fact, physicists have suggested that the electron moves in and out of this dimension at random. Say what? Yup. So essentially, you're technically here sometimes and sometimes partially not, and actually, what you think you are is entirely not what you are. What you are is part of God, which is everything, which is eternal. Therefore, how can you not have a piece of you that is also eternal, as in a soul (or whatever term best suits you)? Since the idea of you had to be created at the beginning of things, then can that idea not be eternal? It can't exactly dissipate, can it?

This is why it is important to trust human mystical and religious experience - because there is truth to it that has been known well before the supposed dawn of science in the 18th century.

The Age of Enlightenment cannot monopolize truth, for truth has always been accessible through the subjective lenses of individuals. Otherwise Zoroaster would not have been able to say thousands of years ago that the universe is similar to the vulture's spiral neck only to be echoed by Einstein who also believed the universe to be spiral-shaped, and energy to work in spirals. Therefore, should we not trust the bulk of human experience which from day one trusted in a unified sense of deity? Can we not simply trust that the existence we all share forms one mass of incredible existence that is divine simply because it exists? What makes something divine anyway? Divine is a simply a word/symbol used to describe something greater than the individual self, and the word bestows great importance, honor, and reverence upon such a thing. We can choose as individuals to see anything as divine since it is all divine. It is all wondrous, and has all always been here, and has always been one thing. Is this not something to consider divine? If it isn't, then I vote to abolish the word "divine" from the English language, as it would no longer have a useful place in it.

Some have argued that we have no divine purpose - that we are just like the animals. This is true to an extent. But talk to anyone you know and I guarantee you they don't believe their life is just about eating and sex. We would see an individual like that as utterly backwards.

Since our beginnings as a species with an absurdly large brain, we have all felt that there's something more to the regular meaning we confer on things. Some will attribute this to the ego and man's selfish need for personal validation. But nothing natural has been created without purpose, and that drive must be relevant to our existence. It is the drives that we have created ourselves which are unnecessary and hindering to hearing God's voice, though, perhaps this is useful too. "Sin is befitting," says God to Julian of Norwich, my most beloved female mystic hailing from the 14th century. Striving makes one appreciate that which one strives for so much

more, as we have seen with existence. Existence will always become regular to us. Even the things we strive for here are destined to jade us. But knowledge and feeling of the unity of life and complete trust in God? That is something to truly appreciate, as it is constant and unyielding. God/Existence will always be - it is the only constant (as I have attempted to explain scientifically). That iPhone you just worked a month to buy will feel really great to play with at first, but in another month, it will simply become another phone, and from there, another object you have to carry around.

And finally, to the people who have tried searching for God and who feel like they have failed: congratulations. You have lived, and you have been human. Humans question the divine and often come up with no definitive answers. Questioning is programmed into us like the will to eat. You have failed in nothing - even most mystics are left questioning for their entire lives, like Julian who became an anchoress just for the sake of meditating on her Showings. And has the search not made you a better person? Has it not made you grapple with your identity? Your demons? With what it is you believe existence to be about? How is that not beneficial to a developing mind? In a scientific experiment, if you fail to prove your hypothesis, does that still mean your experiment failed? Of course not! You have provided data for the ones who will follow you. They will try to learn from your mistakes, and will hopefully grow even further (this should be exciting at this point, since I have hopefully swayed you in the direction of believing in unified existence). I believe that St. Augustine and Julian of Norwich were correct when they said that God needs to be looked for, and God loves it when we look for it. And yet, there is nothing really to look for, is there? It is everywhere.

Proof of God is everything that exists. The mystic Jacob Böehme was correct when he declared that all of existence is constantly praising the name of the Creator, as existence is of the creator. God is of us, God is around us, above

and below, in front and behind. It is indeed difficult to find it within us, burdened as we are with an ego that simply does not shut up. Ever. But I know it is there - I feel it. I haven't been able to empirically prove it to myself yet, but I know it's there. I don't need someone else to tell me or to dissuade me, because nothing can change my mind. And even if I never attain true knowledge of that divine spark that lies within me, I can at least continue to enjoy the search, for by searching for the Holy Grail, one can at least know that they are hoping to be everything they "are" and more - everything, in fact.

Amour me fait commencier

I couldn't help myself. Wanted to share with y'all Anne's voice, though I promise it is even more stunning live, as she is truly a performer in every sense of the word. Thibaut de Champagne (1201-1253) was actually crowned king of Navarre in 1234, and is a stunning contributor to the Trouvère repertoire. I tried to find Anne singing his "Aussi comme Unicorne sui," but it wasn't on the Youtube. I HIGHLY recommend you find the track on your own along with the lyrics. Absolutely marvelous poetry, and Anne delivers it flawlessly (as if I would expect anything less). Let me know what you think of it!

St. Augustine (354-430): A Defense

Speak to most liberal academia about St. Augustine and you will undoubtedly hear all about his conservative philosophy, particularly in regards to sexuality. You will hear important facts, such as, "His Confessions were the model in the Middle Ages for all autobiographies," and, "His Civitate Dei was considered a valuable source of political theory." This is all true and highly relevant, however, in my academic travels, I have found that the venerable saint is often bashed too much for his supposed "hatred of the body," and this becomes the the central commentary on his work. I would like to argue here primarily that this is a fallacy, and must be taken in the context of his personal life. For this, we must turn to his Confessions.

In Book VII of the Confessions, Augustine explicitly (and eloquently) writes that all things which have substance must be good, for "if they were to be deprived of all good, they would not exist at all." (124) Furthermore, "the evil into whose origins I was inquiring is not a substance, for if it were a substance, it would be good... Hence I saw and it was made clear to me that you made all things good, and there are absolutely no substances which you did not make." Similarly, Augustine also attributes all forms to the God, the "supreme beauty." (10) Clearly, Augustine philosophically did not despise the body. He was simply afraid of what it is capable of doing to the soul when the soul is unable to make the right moral decisions, for he also believed that the soul was in control of the body and acted as the pathway to God, since God was not of the flesh but rather of the spirit.

Augustine's supposed hatred of the body can be connected to his own dilemma as a sexual addict. There is little maneuverability around this prickly fact, but it is significant here. Augustine rails mainly against the corruptibility of sexuality, not necessarily about physical existence - an important distinction. And what is more, all his huffing and puffing over sex must be attributed to his fear of rekindling his own sexuality, which was a constant problem until his conversion in the garden in Milan. He writes that Carthage proved to be a "cauldron of illicit loves," (35) and later he writes of how he "fell with a groan into [his] old habits." "Give me chastity and continence, Lord, but not yet," is another piquant little quote demonstrating his sexual addiction. Does it not make sense then that he would be petrified of what the tantalizing human body can do to a man/woman and his/her senses?

For me, the Confessions represent Augustine's characteristically fantastic grappling with philosophy and theology in a way that is poetically sweet and rhetorically erudite. From the book's beginning, in which St. Augustine questions how he can address a God that is everywhere, is part of him and all else, and which exceeds the spatial limitations of that which it even created (a mind-boggling conundrum that Augustine admits he cannot hope to wrap his mind around), to the analysis of memory and the nature of evil, one can only remain impressed at the profundity of Augustine's exegesis. His argument that evil has no substance immediately reminds me of the Sephiroth in which God is sephiras 1-10, but Daath is the realm of literal nothing, and is therefore considered relatively "evil" by Qabalists. Likewise, his emphasis on the unity of God's being seems more in line with Eastern religions and Qabalah than with Trinity-obsessed Western Christianity.

I suppose this is why I feel so strongly about defending Augustine. The man was brilliant. Part mystic/philosopher/teacher/academic/writer/and theologian, his works reflect a personage of intense intellect, who has undergone tremendous personal trial and guilt, and who deserves an amount of sympathy and praise, even if you still believe he was too conservative (note: Augustine also disliked ascetic practices because of the bragging rights they allowed individuals. He was monastically egalitarian. Yet another reason why Augustine cannot be considered a raving ascetic, unlike Gregory the so-called Great), because let's face it - we all have our addictions and personal road blocks that prevent us from truly listening to our real selves. Very few of us are beatific enough to not have these dilemmas, and in this context, it seems foolish to me to condemn a man for his own self-fear and indomitable will-power.

France, Essentially

I realize that I have not posted in some time; this is for several reasons, the first of those being that for the past week I have been in Connecticut at the Amherst Early Musical Festival singing Troubadour and Trouvère pieces with Anne Azèma and Shira Kammen. The second reason for this negligence is the fact that my computer has been broken, and I have literally just now figured out how to jerry-rig everything back to normal until it gets fixed properly. The third reason is that work at Gillette Stadium has started for me - how fun is that? Not quite as fun as 12th century lyric, but necessary nonetheless.

A few words about the French Medieval Song Project with Anne and Shira - the first that comes to mind is "wow," though perhaps a little more profound would be the word, "clarifying." Wow certainly describes the overall class. The hands-on instruction all thirteen of us received was top-notch, and incredibly insightful, as well as encouraging. The two gave a concert on Tuesday night that was absolutely to die for, and I must say, it was worth the tuition

just for that alone - quite honestly, it made me cry it was so beautiful at one point.

I would say the class was "clarifying" in the sense that it kicked me in the right direction. I realized that I really do want to perform this rep, and that in order to do it, I have to bust my hump, so to speak. It was clarifying in terms of grad school searching (though equally more obfuscating in some ways), and in terms of what I am capable of as a musician and a student. Even furthermore, I now have Anne Azèma's voice incessantly in my head saying, "If you all want to continue working with this repertoire... learn French." Mon Dieu, learn French? After hearing Anne speak/sing flawless, beautiful, melodious French for a week, after listening to NOTHING BUT FRENCH MUSIC either sung OR PLAYED BY THE BLOODY RECORDER AND HARPSICHORD, I now have a bucket-load of motivation (well, maybe not so much from the recorder bit) to do so. So naturally, in my vast spare time, I have started to learn French - C'est bon... for now.

In other news, I just got a Blackberry (organization... maybe?) and am reading Aleister Crowley's Qabalistic Writings edited by "our man" Israel Regardie. (Inside joke - Globalization class with Hannagan, bless his heart.) I will have to discuss this latter bit far more in detail in a later post, as this book is a MUST READ for any student of Qabalah or Crowley or just about any religion. The guide to symbolism and the allegory of numbers is simply staggaringly (invented adverb) brilliant.

Sorry this wasn't such an exciting post, though I am unfazed by this, as I still currently have three subscribers, and don't have high hopes for many more, particularly as two of them are my parents (thank you, Mike Hofmann). Regardless, hope this post finds you in a happy state, well, and relaxed.

VI The Lovers: Reconciling Christianity and Thelema through the Writings of Teresa of Avila

Aleister Crowley's disdain for Christianity is well known. As he considered himself the Anti-Christ, believing in his mission to destroy the Church, his writings and cosmology tend to be violently skewed, riddled with imagery many find Satanic and disturbing. Granted, one can relate this to the fact that Horus - the supposed ruler of the new Aeon - is attributable to Mars (see Israel Regardie's The Tree of Life), and is therefore meant to be vengeful and merciless, quite the opposite of the usual Christian message of suffering and humility. Crowley's attempt to reconfigure Atu XII, The Hanged Man, as a hieroglyph not of suffering but of redemption echoes this anti-Christian sentiment. I would like to suggest in this article that Crowley's Thelema and Christianity can in fact be reconciled, and should be, for in this age it is necessary for us to see the similarities between our various beliefs. I believe that is one of the true messages of the new Aeon supposedly set upon us.

Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) was declared the first female Doctor of the Church in 1970, meaning that she wrote sufficiently enough about orthodox Church doctrine in a lucid and revelatory way to be considered on par with St. Augustine, St. Jerome, and St. Gregory (highly,

highly revered sources of masculine Christian discourse throughout the Medieval/Renaissance

periods). Teresa is known mainly for her experiences of divine ecstasy, as remarkably depicted in the Bernini sculpture (left). Her descriptions of these experiences, as well as her methods of prayer, are quite obviously related to the Neoplatonic/Kabbalistic/alchemical/

Magical/Hindu understanding of prayer and enlightenment, which Crowley based his Thelema on.

Enlightenment in much of these Western doctrines according to the Golden Dawn, Crowley, and countless others, was conceptualized by the revolving Tetragrammaton formula - YHVH - by which the physical body is redeemed by Knowledge and Conversation between the conscious self and the Highest Self (Holy Guardian Angel), spiritual marriage with that entity, and eventual union with that entity in order to rise to Godhead, by which one recognizes the root of their divinity, inherent oneness with everything, and attains enlightenment. (More on this below.)

Teresa's spiritual experiences are very similar to this. First, she explains that she stopped praying aloud as was the common practice, but rather focused inwardly and remained silent, meditating on Christ's presence within her. She writes, "When picturing Christ in the way I have mentioned... I used unexpectedly to experience a consciousness of the presence of God, of such a kind that I could not possibly doubt that He was within me or that I was wholly engulfed in Him." This is by definition the meaning of the Lovers trump. It is a recognition of the spiritual "other" as part of the self, known to alchemists as the first stage of coniunctio (marriage) - ironically called separatio. In fact, Teresa herself understands this relationship as a marriage, referring to Christ as her Spouse many times. I feel that in her case, the terms Spouse carries much more weight than in reference to any general nun who considers herself spiritually betrothed to Christ upon taking the veil. The beautiful moment she describes which became the inspiration for Bernini's statue is the real marriage, the moment when she sees an angel unlike any other ("in bodily form, which is not usual with me; for though angels are often represented to me, it is only in my mental vision"), who plunges a fiery spear into her heart and sets her"wholly on fire with a great love of God." (Princess of Disks much? Impregnated with the divine seed of the phallic Yod? Hmmm...)

Additionally, Israel Regardie explains in his Tree of Life that much of the process of enlightenment is conducted out of the body through Astral Projection (self-willed out-of-body experience), and that is precisely what St. Teresa undergoes. Teresa says, "Oh, my God, how clear is the meaning of that verse about asking for the wings of a dove and how right the author was... It is evident that he is referring to the flight taken by the spirit when it soars high above all created things, and above itself first of all; but it is a gentle and a joyful flight and also a silent one." Similarly, "In these raptures the soul seems no longer to animate the body, and thus the natural heat of the body is felt to be very sensibly diminished." This is a typical sign of the absence of the astral body (obviously not the entire body, which would result in death). Her point that the journey is silent is particularly intriguing, since Crowley speaks endlessly of Harpocrates, the Lord of Silence who is the twin of Horus and is representative of the silence of meditation and the element of spirit (see The Book of Thoth).

Also intriguing is Teresa's emphasis on the worth of the body to God, something also harking back to the Tetragrammaton formula. In Tetragrammaton, each letter represents one of the four elements - Y = fire, H (primal) = water, V = air, and H (final) = earth. In Tarot, we see this as the court cards, each letter corresponding to Knights (Kings), Queens, Princes (Knights), and Princesses (Pages/Valets) respectively. The Princess (earth) is the child born of the marriage between the Knight and the Queen (fire and water), and is the lesser twin sister to the more divine son, as represented by the Prince. She is expected to marry the Prince, ascend to the throne of her mother, kill the old Knight and replace him with the Prince, and thereby redeem the earth (the harrowing of Hell, the Ascension of Mary). The body is synonymous in Hermetic Kabbala with earth, and therefore one of the goals of enlightenment is to better the condition of physical existence, to bring spirit back down into more perfect union with matter (the creation process in the first place, the blessing of the Holy Spirit) in order to redeem it.

Teresa's writings oddly enough include details of this experience: "The Lord is pleased that the body should have a share in [the ecstasy] because of its obedience to the will of the soul. After the recovery of the consciousness, if the rapture has been deep, the faculties may remain absorbed for a day or two... and be as if in a state of stupor, so that they seem to be no longer themselves." This is clearly an unknowing nod to the Kundalini Awakening, which Crowley insisted upon as the goal of meditation

(Atu XI Lust) (Kundalini seen right) and the key to enlightenment. Furthermore, Teresa writes, "[Ecstasy] is much more beneficial than union: the effects it produces are far more important and it has a

great many more operations, for union gives the impression of being just the same at the beginning, in the middle and at the end, and it all happens interiorly. But the ends of these raptures are of a higher degree, and the effects they produce are both interior and exterior." Frankly, I think that's brilliant. Teresa recognizes the positive outward effect these ecstasy's produce, and discusses their merit in the same vein as Crowley, who attributes ecstasy to madness and divine bliss (Bacchus, as in Atu 0 and XV in The Book of Thoth).

And finally, Teresa makes interesting remarks on the nature of True Will - the entire point of Thelema. She writes that before she experienced God within herself she was very disobedient to the will of God. She claims that "the Lord became more desirous of preparing me for the state of life which was best for me." In a similar vein, she says, "O God, in how many ways did His Majesty gradually prepare me for the state in which He was to be pleased to use me! In how many ways, against my own will, did He constrain me to exercise restraint upon myself!" This can be seen as an example of "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Teresa understands that God has a higher purpose for her that she must adhere to, lest she remain wallowing in sin and attachment to the world. Is it also not interesting, albeit probably coincidental, that the imagery of the angel piercing her heart like Eros is very similar to the imagery in Atu VI, The Lovers, in which Eros is directing the arrow of Thelema (True Will) at the heart of the Empress/Luna/Venus, who is marrying the Emperor/Sol/Mars ? (See The Book of Thoth for the explanation of these planetary associations, as well as a bit about the crucial role of Eros in this formula.)

Thus, it is indeed possible to reconcile Christianity with Crowley's Thelema, and in fact, I believe they help elucidate each other. The mysteries of one are often explained better in the other, and I have found studying both to be very helpful. In the perfect words of Goethe, "Alles vergengliche," (All is allegory), and ultimately Christianity and Thelema are both intricately orchestrated allegories. In this example, both found union (to continue the theme) in the archetype of The Lovers, a card representative of openness to other sources of inspiration. I'll just leave it at that.

(All quotes by Teresa were taken from her autobiography The Life of Teresa of Jesus, edited by E. Allison Peers)

Literary Rape in Abelard and Heloise

The letters of Abelard and Heloise of the 12th century are famous in Medieval scholarship. The most influential power couple in Europe at one time met with horrendous challenges and confrontations from their peers and from each other. Both incredibly strong-willed and brilliant thinkers, the letters between Abelard and Heloise are a fascinating example of letter-writing in the Middle Ages. Letters are considered a public genre for this period, meaning that letters were never private. Without a responsible postal service, people asked to deliver something in their travels could read anything they were asked to transport.

I recently had to read the letters again for a class at Vass while simultaneously taking another class on Middle English. In this second class the professor, Mark Amodio, emphasized the Medieval association between written text and the female body. This thought has been echoed in other secondary sources on medieval exegesis, and it is common consensus that since the writing stylus is phallic, the textual body that it "penetrates" is feminine. This is one of the main reasons women were not allowed to write publicly and teach in this period. Furthermore, the act of glossing, subjectively interpreting a prewritten text, was a task reserved only for men. Essentially, the feminine body of the text is perused and redefined by the masculine pen, which could be seen as raping, or at least taking advantage of, the vulnerable female body.

With this in mind, reading the letters a second time was revealing. I think I may be exaggerating the relevance of these gender associations in relation to Abelard and Heloise's letters, however, it's at least interesting to read them through this lens. In her first letter after reading Abelard's Historia Calamitatum, Heloise slowly focuses the attention on Abelard's sexuality. First she praises him for his creating the Paraclete (the convent which she leads as abbess), saying, "You alone, after God, are the founder of the place, you alone the builder of this oratory, you alone the architect of this congregation... It is all your creation... Before you, this was a wilderness... Nothing you brought to the task was from the wealth of kings and princes... it was all to be yours, whatever was done here, yours alone." I see this as an abject way of comparing Abelard to God as creator of the garden of Eden, particularly as she goes on to say, "Yes, it is yours, truly yours, this newly planted garden." Of course, gardens are a timeless symbol of fertility, pregnancy, and female sexuality, particularly virginity. We must remember that Heloise has already given birth to Abelard's child Astrolabe. Heloise continues, chastising Abelard for his negligence to his nuns, but also to her: "But leave aside these others for a moment - remember what you owe me."

From there Heloise narrows the focal point even more, by addressing their marital relationship as well as what she believes to be mutual love between them. However, Heloise's concept of love becomes deeply sexual for the period. She laments Abelard's castration at the hands of her relatives (oh yeah... about that) and demands that Abelard gives her some comfort in return for all she's done for him. Furthermore - and here's my favorite from this letter - she says, "I changed my habit along with my heart to show that my body along with my heart belonged only to you." (Habit as in the traditional garb for nuns and monks.)

Whoa! If that's not scandalous in every Medieval sense of the word, I don't know what is. Of course she doesn't let it go, and delivers her famous line, "The name of wife may have the advantages of sanctity and safety, but to me the sweeter name will always be lover or, if your dignity can bear it, concubine or whore." Yes. She went there.

So let's summarize a little bit: Heloise has basically called Abelard out as a mediocre spiritual leader and a failure of a husband, while promoting the value of their entwining sexual relationship, and demanding that he respect their relationship for what she believes it to be. However... this can be difficult for one to do when they've been castrated in their sleep and they realize that these letters are going to be read by the 12th century French social world. Scandal doesn't even begin to cover it. It's no surprise that in his response letter, all Abelard does is gloss her text by providing quotes from Scripture to analyze her claims and thereby discredit them. Essentially, I believe he is textually raping her to silence her and to assert his dominance as a man. We must understand that castration in this period is damning (literally), and such people were considered filthy, effeminate, and almost non-gendered (read the Pardoner's Tale in Chaucer to really look at how this plays out socially). Heloise's aggressive plea through a masculine genre - writing - must have been quite an affront to Abelard.

Clearly his response affected Heloise deeply, as her next letter is even more fiesty: "O, the ungodly savagery of God, if I may say it! The mercilessness of his mercy! etc," and, "Has there been glory like the glory that was mine because of you? Or ruin like the ruin that is mine because of you?" That is by definition a back-handed compliment if I've ever seen one. This letter had to be even more rhetorically provocative in order to stimulate some kind of consenting response from Abelard. Unfortunately though, Heloise quickly learns to be silent about her wishes and their sexual relationship. Abelard cannot sexually provide for her in the way she expects him to, and is suffering from a tremendous failure in confidence. Likewise, Heloise feels utterly trapped by her unhappy lot that she would have never chosen had Abelard remained safe... Marriage counseling was unfortunately not an option.

So what do you all think? Have something to add? Questions, comments, opinions? Leave a comment!

Poll

Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that I just put up a little poll on the right! I was just curious which deck tradition y'all prefer. Personally, I fluctuate, but I'd love to know your opinions!

The Three of Swords

I once heard this card referred to as the Trance of Sorrow, which always intrigued me. Apparently, this is the state required of the individual who wishes to discover their inherent divine purpose. It is considered an aspect of Binah on the Sephiroth, shown on the left here. Binah, of course, is the Great Mother, the Eternal Sea which is the source of all manifested existence in its original form as semi-shaped potential - if that makes any sense. The Golden Dawn attributed qualities of both the moon and Saturn to this sephira, as the moon represents fertility and Saturn represents time and limitation. Binah is the door of manifestation, the womb in which all existence gestates. As she is the gateway to matter, she subjects all things to limitation through the influence of time and death.

Anywho, the Three of Swords is notoriously one of the most depressing cards in the Tarot pack, but why? Paul Huson in his intriguing (albeit only slightly convincing in certain areas) book Mystical Origins of the Tarot argues that the Golden Dawn actually messed up the divinatory definition for the 3, switching it with the definition for the 4. Traditionally, the characteristics of the astrological decans, one of the systems by which the Golden Dawn organized the minor arcana, were drawn from a 14th century astrological text translated from Arabic entitled Picatrix. Now, according the Golden Dawn, the 3 is the second decan of Libra (10 degrees-20), and is ruled by Saturn. As Saturn is exalted in Libra, it would make sense that this decan's traditional definition is characterized by "quietness, ease, plenty, good life, and dance" (taken from Mystical Origins, pg. 204.). Clearly this is not the definition given the card by the GD or even by Arthur Edward Waite. Rather, their definition associating the card with suffering and tears seems more congruous with the final decan of Libra ruled by Jupiter: "ill deeds... mirth and gluttony, sodomy and following of evil pleasures." (Mystical Origins, 206).

My theory is that the Golden Dawn, Waite, and Aleister Crowley weren't stupid, and knew exactly what they were saying. Saturn is associated with Binah in her sterile form, and embodies the "Mourning of Isis." As the 3 of Swords is the only card associated with Binah ruled by Saturn - meaning that it's the only 3 in the pack that is ruled by Saturn - it makes sense that the GD would capitalize on this and conceptualize the 3 along these lines. Lately I've been reading Mary Greer's amazing book 21 Ways to Read a Tarot Card (a must-read for anyone interested in intuitive and life-changing reading using the Waite-Coleman Smith tradition), and in it, she uses numerology to give further insight into the cards. Because of my Sephirotic studies, it's been inevitable to study some of the old Pythagorean divine characteristics of numbers 1-10, but one can overlook their significance sometimes. Threes represent manifestation, the creation of a spatial triangular plane, which therefore establishes time and being (the Saturnine quality of Binah).

Keeping this in mind, if we then look at Saturn (The World/Universe) as full physical

manifestation and Libra (Justice/Adjustment) as the law of the universe, or the karmic result of an action, then we can clearly see that the emphasis of the card is on the rules or inherent nature of the physical universe. Furthermore, swords are the suit of division, separation, as air is the first element to separate itself from Godhead (fire and water are really only two sides of the same coin). This of course relates to the revolving Tetragrammaton formula YHVH. In conclusion, the three of swords is representative of Buddha's spiritual plight: all manifested existence is suffering, because it is divided from union with God.

Therefore, we can see that the card represents a universal bleakness, an oppressive grief that perhaps comes from seeing the hopeless limitations of one's situation and wanting more. The Eternal Mother weeps and mourns over the loss of her children (the lamenting Mary at the foot of the Cross), and awaits reunion with them. Julian of Norwich echoes this sentiment when she explains that Christ wants only to be reunited with all of us, but simply cannot - "sin is befitting." The struggle of living is that which makes us desire spiritual change, and causes us to strive for our personal perfection in order to change and better the universe. In the words of Aleister Crowley, "Whatever horrors may afflict the soul, whatever abominations may excite the loathing of the heart, whatever terrors may assail the mind, the answer is the same at every stage: 'How splendid is the Adventure!'" (Book of Thoth, 113)