Why Searching for God is Important

Lately, I have been confronted by several people who have grown skeptical of God and the act of searching for It. They've asked me things like, "but what is spirituality?" and, "what is religion?" or said things such as, "I've already spent a great deal of time looking for Him and I couldn't find Him, so it seems pretty pointless." This all distresses me intensely as I look at these people and wonder, how can you not believe in God? I'm not talking about the demiurgic god of the Old Testament or Greek mythology - the kind that will interfere with your life for seemingly little reason; rather, I'm talking simply about God the Universe, the "pantacle of the whole," so to speak.

Firstly, look around you. For once, don't take it for granted; I want you to truly recognize what you're looking at It doesn't matter what it is because that's the secret - it is. As God is the great "I am," so is existence.

Things exist.

From absolutely nothing there has been made, for whatever reason, by whatever methods, something. How does that not truly stagger your mind? And even if it was not fashioned by God's ideal hands, is it not useful to consider oneself blessed to be a part of this creation? You exist. You are here at this moment with the ability to contemplate and comprehend these words, and for once, I'm asking you to really question the import of that, for that is truly miraculous. Existence alone is a deity deserving of praise since we are lucky enough to be a part of existence's vast body. So why is it then foolish to aimlessly search for that which is the source of it all? Should we not be in awe of that which was the first speck? The first thought? The first will? Do you love your home? Your family? Your own self? Do you love anything at all?

These all must have come from somewhere, and all these things have existed in some form (albeit perhaps not fused in their current form) since the creation of the universe. Form is transitory, but existence is endless. Therefore, should we not recognize the rapture of that one moment when everything we know and will ever love was suddenly exploded into existence? Should we not stand speechless over that? Are we jaded enough by our "isolation" from God that we cannot appreciate all that it, at least as an allegorical being has done?

Let us go further. All this stuff we call existence must be considered one thing. It must be seen as one constantly changing system of simply nothing and things, as all things are made of the same components: combinations of atoms in various forms and negative space. Any chemical system must function as a whole, for instance, if I have a swimming pool and I drop 3 drops of food coloring in, the molecules of those three infinitesimal drops will eventually be dispersed relatively evenly throughout the pool, provided the pool is at equilibrium and there is nothing living in the pool that can consume the food coloring. We all know that when you stir a mixture, it tends to blend together much faster than if you were to simply let it sit placidly.

The same principle applies to the ever-churning Universe. Nothing in the Universe can continue to exist without changing - this is why things die. Death is necessary to continue creation - chemists and physicists will confirm this principle. So therefore, if we are constantly releasing "drops of food coloring" in the form of energy expended through every thought and action both conscious and unconscious (energy, which can never be contained within a system, it too simply transforms), can we not see that those thoughts and actions will have ramifications throughout the entire universe, even if they are infinitesimal in regards to the entire universe? Even if they take eons to reach the corners of the universe? Believe me, the universe has the time.

As much as the universe loves chaos, it also loves equilibrium - that swimming pool is always going to strive for equilibrium, and if we pretend that swimming pool is a perfectly enclosed system, then the amount of "stuff" and energy within the pool will never change but

will simply transform/transfer no matter how much chaos is present within the pool system. Therefore, that entire system must simultaneously accommodate the workings of each individual atom within itself, and here we can understand Crowley's lovely statement "the dropping of a pin excites a reaction within every star." (This includes us, as "Every man and woman is a star.") The point of this enormous explanation and diatribe on basic laws of science is this: this oneness of life is wonderfully intricate, well-ordered, self-sufficient, and (dare I say) aware. It knows how to function. Electrons know when they're being observed and change their properties to suit this observation. Can we not say that electrons demonstrate a kind of wacky omniscience? They actually change their properties from either wave or particle based on observation. Guess what: we're made of electrons. So therefore, anything physical that we see as "constant" is a lie, as it is technically changing its makeup perpetually. The ancient Hindu concept of reality being false and enlightenment bestowing true vision upon the adept is actually true. Guess what again: electrons can never be located within a given time within an atom; their location can only be guessed based on laws of probability. In fact, physicists have suggested that the electron moves in and out of this dimension at random. Say what? Yup. So essentially, you're technically here sometimes and sometimes partially not, and actually, what you think you are is entirely not what you are. What you are is part of God, which is everything, which is eternal. Therefore, how can you not have a piece of you that is also eternal, as in a soul (or whatever term best suits you)? Since the idea of you had to be created at the beginning of things, then can that idea not be eternal? It can't exactly dissipate, can it?

This is why it is important to trust human mystical and religious experience - because there is truth to it that has been known well before the supposed dawn of science in the 18th century.

The Age of Enlightenment cannot monopolize truth, for truth has always been accessible through the subjective lenses of individuals. Otherwise Zoroaster would not have been able to say thousands of years ago that the universe is similar to the vulture's spiral neck only to be echoed by Einstein who also believed the universe to be spiral-shaped, and energy to work in spirals. Therefore, should we not trust the bulk of human experience which from day one trusted in a unified sense of deity? Can we not simply trust that the existence we all share forms one mass of incredible existence that is divine simply because it exists? What makes something divine anyway? Divine is a simply a word/symbol used to describe something greater than the individual self, and the word bestows great importance, honor, and reverence upon such a thing. We can choose as individuals to see anything as divine since it is all divine. It is all wondrous, and has all always been here, and has always been one thing. Is this not something to consider divine? If it isn't, then I vote to abolish the word "divine" from the English language, as it would no longer have a useful place in it.

Some have argued that we have no divine purpose - that we are just like the animals. This is true to an extent. But talk to anyone you know and I guarantee you they don't believe their life is just about eating and sex. We would see an individual like that as utterly backwards.

Since our beginnings as a species with an absurdly large brain, we have all felt that there's something more to the regular meaning we confer on things. Some will attribute this to the ego and man's selfish need for personal validation. But nothing natural has been created without purpose, and that drive must be relevant to our existence. It is the drives that we have created ourselves which are unnecessary and hindering to hearing God's voice, though, perhaps this is useful too. "Sin is befitting," says God to Julian of Norwich, my most beloved female mystic hailing from the 14th century. Striving makes one appreciate that which one strives for so much

more, as we have seen with existence. Existence will always become regular to us. Even the things we strive for here are destined to jade us. But knowledge and feeling of the unity of life and complete trust in God? That is something to truly appreciate, as it is constant and unyielding. God/Existence will always be - it is the only constant (as I have attempted to explain scientifically). That iPhone you just worked a month to buy will feel really great to play with at first, but in another month, it will simply become another phone, and from there, another object you have to carry around.

And finally, to the people who have tried searching for God and who feel like they have failed: congratulations. You have lived, and you have been human. Humans question the divine and often come up with no definitive answers. Questioning is programmed into us like the will to eat. You have failed in nothing - even most mystics are left questioning for their entire lives, like Julian who became an anchoress just for the sake of meditating on her Showings. And has the search not made you a better person? Has it not made you grapple with your identity? Your demons? With what it is you believe existence to be about? How is that not beneficial to a developing mind? In a scientific experiment, if you fail to prove your hypothesis, does that still mean your experiment failed? Of course not! You have provided data for the ones who will follow you. They will try to learn from your mistakes, and will hopefully grow even further (this should be exciting at this point, since I have hopefully swayed you in the direction of believing in unified existence). I believe that St. Augustine and Julian of Norwich were correct when they said that God needs to be looked for, and God loves it when we look for it. And yet, there is nothing really to look for, is there? It is everywhere.

Proof of God is everything that exists. The mystic Jacob Böehme was correct when he declared that all of existence is constantly praising the name of the Creator, as existence is of the creator. God is of us, God is around us, above

and below, in front and behind. It is indeed difficult to find it within us, burdened as we are with an ego that simply does not shut up. Ever. But I know it is there - I feel it. I haven't been able to empirically prove it to myself yet, but I know it's there. I don't need someone else to tell me or to dissuade me, because nothing can change my mind. And even if I never attain true knowledge of that divine spark that lies within me, I can at least continue to enjoy the search, for by searching for the Holy Grail, one can at least know that they are hoping to be everything they "are" and more - everything, in fact.